


into the rose garden

by cheinsaw



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, Implied/Referenced Sex, Mental Health Issues
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-14
Updated: 2016-09-14
Packaged: 2018-08-15 00:52:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8035927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cheinsaw/pseuds/cheinsaw
Summary: time present and time past are both perhaps present in time future.





	into the rose garden

**Author's Note:**

> the purple prose no one asked for! title/description are from t.s. eliot's Burnt Norton  
> also, though i headcanon her as mentally ill as stated in this fic, mental illness does not excuse ruruka's canon actions.

You've never believed in an afterlife. You had always thought that you die, you're dead and that's it - you're gone. Sure, you can respect reincarnation or whatever else, but you've never really thought about it in terms of yourself. What would you be in another life? A deer, a hawk. Something quiet, or something full of talons; prey, or a predator.

You've never had to think about your death before now.

 

When you are thirteen and awkward and shy Ruruka kisses you for the first time. It's messy, and she tastes like cheap lip gloss, sticky on your mouth. But it's the most perfect thing you could've ever dreamed of. "Kiss me again," you tell her with your eyes wide, and she does. Again, and again.

When you are seventeen and grown quiet and reserved you're expelled from Hope's Peak, you and her together. Ruruka fumes, because it was Seiko, Seiko did this to her. You rub her back and tell her it's okay, even though it isn't. You have to be strong for her, because who else is going to protect such a bitter girl?

(She's so sweet to you.)

 

You're barely nineteen and Ruruka's just been diagnosed with pages and pages of words like _anxiety_ and _obsessions_ and _personality_ _disorder_ , and she is scared. "You still love me, right?" she asks you, a hundred times, and every time you tell her _yes yes yes._

"I could never stop loving you," you tell her, and she bursts into tears against your chest.

You're in Ruruka's room not long after when the world begins to end, your head in her lap as she writes in her diary. She feeds you candies and strokes your hair absentmindedly, and you are so perfectly contented with each little touch that you can never imagine being happier. And then Ruruka checks her phone and tells you the entire fucking Reserve Course just died, and Hope's Peak is going under, and suddenly you're hollow.

You don't talk much for the rest of the day - there's not much to talk about. Ruruka occasionally swears in disbelief, and you reach out to comfort her because it's the only thing you can do when you can't even comfort yourself.

How are you supposed to survive this way?

You wake in the middle of the night to Ruruka crying. "I'm scared," she whimpers, and rolls over so her body curves into yours.

You bury your face in her hair and whisper that _it will be fine, don't worry, I'll protect you_ , and you drape your arm across her waist and breathe in her sugary-vanilla scent until you've both fallen back asleep.

 

The world's gone to shit but it will all be alright, you think, sure as the steel blades in your coat are sharp. You've been called to the Future Foundation's headquarters somewhere in the middle of the ocean, something about holding trial for some kid from the 14th Division who harbored Remnants, and honestly, it seems pointless. But there is one thing, one shining thing in this disgusting mess, that you've held close to your heart and looked forward to all this time--Ruruka, your darling Ruruka.

"Yoi-chan!" she says, barreling into your chest and nuzzling against you. You've been apart so long, because your branches never work together, and it's been hard on you to sleep alone. You hold her tight, pick her up, spin her around. You kiss her even though you can't stop grinning, and when you draw back she presses a strawberry cream puff to your lips. This is her way of saying she missed you, more than words can tell.

You're twenty, twenty-one, you don't know, cuddled up with Ruruka in one of the Future Foundation headquarters' guest rooms. She's all kisses and warm skin against you, murmuring that she loves you, loves you so much. She nips your neck, pulls your hair, cries out so loud the entire building must hear, but _god_ does she smile.

This is the first time since the Tragedy you've seen her laugh. And it's pure, it's sparkling true. As you collapse together, she sighs happily and rests her head on your chest. The world's gone to shit, but if you just lie here like this, maybe you can float away and live happily ever after, like you always said you would.

 

You die in her arms. It's not a betrayal. You love her, right up until the very end. Maybe, all along, there was no place in a world like this for childhood sweethearts, where one has to kill the other, when you both know you're not long to survive. Maybe it was meant to be like this, a bitter end where she's sobbing and you're choking on her candy, where neither of you want to let go. Maybe, if things had been different, it wouldn't have turned out this way.

You love her still. You love her forever.

 

You're in Ruruka's room again. You know it very well, the pink walls and white furniture, every corner etched sharp into your memory. The fluffy bedspread she's had since middle school is there, with her stuffed animals all lined up like they're waiting for her to come back. You don't dare touch anything, but you'd bet the first drawer of her desk still has her diary and gel pens, the second filled with loose recipes and cute stationery and a stash of condoms hidden way at the back. Everything is as perfect as you remember, right down to the scent of sugar and vanilla hanging in the air.

This has to be some kind of trick, because the Andou house was burned down by despair at least a year ago. And yet, here you are.

You take off your coat and hang it over Ruruka's chair like you always did before snuggling into bed with her. You suppose it's a little strange, being in her room without her, even after so many years of dating. But you'll wait for her. You always have.


End file.
